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Essay · 03

You're afraid of the end of the phrase before you've played the beginning

Rheagan Osteen · June 2026

Think of a passage you dread. You know the one. There's a moment in it that scares you. Maybe it's high, maybe it's exposed, maybe it's just the spot where you always seem to crack.

Now notice what happens in your body when you imagine starting that phrase.

If you're like most performers, you don't start the phrase from where you are. You start it from where it's going. The fear of the hard moment at the end reaches backward and grips you before you've played a single note. You begin already braced. Already clenched. Already fighting yourself for a problem that hasn't happened yet.

So the beginning, which might have been easy, comes out tight. By the time you arrive at the scary moment, you've spent the whole phrase tensing toward it.

And your body is in exactly the wrong state to meet it freely.

We do this everywhere. We brace at the start of an audition for the mistake we might make at the end. We walk onstage already protecting against the review we imagine afterward.

Here's the shift. What if you let the beginning of the phrase just be the beginning? What if you stayed connected to yourself in this note, this moment, and trusted that when you arrive at the hard part, you'll meet it from flow rather than from fear?

The high note doesn't need you to be afraid of it for the last four bars. It just needs you to arrive present.

Try it. Take the passage you dread. Play only the beginning, and stay with yourself, in your body, right there. Don't lean toward the ending. Don't borrow tomorrow's fear. Just be where you are.

That's where freedom starts. Not in fixing the hard moment, but in stopping the bracing that begins long before it.

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